my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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