Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need to calm my uterus...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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