Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
