I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
