im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
