singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
