How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
