Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
no, he came in my armpit
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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