The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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