Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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