I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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