OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
