What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you will always have a special place in my vag
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
