CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
