why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
