Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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