we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
