I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
