Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it glows. i had to have it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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