In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize