Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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