Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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