my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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