apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
