I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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