New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
