It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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