sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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