i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Are we still banned from the library?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
