i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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