okay pat passed out under dana's car
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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