im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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