Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
