Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize