Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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