then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
