Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
