East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize