I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
