Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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