Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
