i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
