oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Let's get the cat blown out
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize