Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
