And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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