I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
