no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
