Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is Oprah even human
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
