He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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