I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
