hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
