he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
