we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
not ubering you a puppy
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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