Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i think my cat just said my name.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
