if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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