This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
