Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize