my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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