I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
