ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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