What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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