Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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