I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
