if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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