is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
